I don't believe I have ever been able to say that I truly was happy but today as I type this... I am able to say that I AM completely happy.
I am one of those people who has never had the life that came easy. ever. Its been filled with trials that still don't go away, thoughts that take over me, struggles that most people couldn't handle. ever. But today I am happy.
Maybe its because the house is quite, clean, relaxing, the kid is asleep and the husband is so handsome laying next to him. Or maybe it because its summer officially or maybe its because I had a small get away with great friends, my wonderful husband and no kid. Or maybe its because I had the realization that life for me now is what I thought it would be like when I dreamt it years ago.
Who knows. all I DO know is that being happy is wonderful. As I write this I sit and think about how I told my self that once I had a child I was going to teach him that life is something that needs to be lived to the fullest and this year I think I am accomplishing just that.
The other day I took Wyatt to Antelope Island. I grew up at this place. Every year around my mom's birthday we'd pack lunches pile into the van and drive the 30 or so minutes to get there. My parents would open the van doors and let us run and explore. We'd find caves carved into the mountains, hike the million trails, visit the ranch and play in the salty water on the murky mudded beaches. We were in complete bliss. So I knew I wanted to do the same thing with Wyatt.
We first visited the ranch.
We peeked at the horses behind the old fences, found sticks, rocks, bugs. Climbed on top of uprooted trees, visited the old ranch houses and slowly became brave.
Wyatt surprised me as he begged to sit on the pretend bulls and didn't even freak out when we would run into buffalo along the trails instead he sat in amazement and watched them quietly asking what they were each time we saw one.
After a few hours at the ranch and hiking along the trails we went to the salty mudded beach and played.
played for hours...
and accomplished what I wanted because we left happy.