Sunday, September 2, 2012

I really can go for some pizza right now.


**The above photos are from our last day in the apartment. The keys have been left, the doors have been closed and it surprised me on how emotional I got. I just closed the doors to 7 years of memories and as we left all I thought about was the hall way Wyatt learned to walk in and I cried harder. I will miss the memories.**

Seriously, I want a huge pizza right now all to my self with amazing toppings and extra sauce. But this post has nothing to do with my late night pizza craving. So lets move on shall we.

A few weeks ago, Cody told me that if I wanted to I could step down from full time and work part time to have more time with Wyatt. When he told me that I cried with excitement, that's all I could think about for days but then I started thinking about how I love my job and how I worked hard to get to where I am. So the excitement stopped and the mom guilt came.

If I choose to work full time that means I choose not to give my time to Wyatt and if I choose to stay home more and work very part time I choose not to have time for my self. What a decision. Right? In my mind I think about how amazing it would be to stay home more but in my heart I feel like I am giving away a part of who I am and I don't know if I could do it.

I want both worlds but is that possible? Cody says I would be less stressed but I feel like now after really thinking about it I would be more stressed and have less control. I mean we would have less money which would equal more fights, I would have less adult interaction which would make me sad. I would do all the “wife” things more like clean, cook wash etc. instead of splitting it which I would hate because I would feel like its unfair.

What do you think? What's better. Work stress? Family stress? More money to do things or less money with not much to do? And how do I pick me over Wyatt with out feeling guilty? Or Wyatt over me with out feeling like I am giving my self up?

awe man…What do I do?

1 comment:

  1. I would choose to stay at home more, but that's just me. I only immagine how difficult is for you to take a decision... I think you should probably rename the options though. Instead of work stress and family stress, say just work and family. ;) Leave out the stress. It's bad for you (and for me too, I should know). Good luck.

    P.S. Lovely photos, especially the one with the sun beam.


Thanks for reading. Take a moment to comment, so I can personally thank you.