Friday, August 26, 2011

right now, I am slowly moving on.

It is amazing to me that I have this wonderful support from all of you. This is the reason I blog because complete strangers will reach out and try to make someone feel better about them selves and I appreciate that. I appreciate all your comments and emails and I will write you all back soon. For now, know that I feel better and the majority of my feelings come from the high expectations I put on my self and others around me and that is something I am trying to work on.
Because I know I cant be perfect at everything and that everyone else cant either but I do yearn for it to be that way and I get jealous at others success when I feel like that could be me and it makes me feel like I fail because its not.
I want to be the amazing mother, the top notch employee with the amazing sale numbers, the adoring wife and the sought after photographer. But as most of you said I cant be all of those things 100% of the time. Its just hard to not wish I could.
The night I wrote that post I just came home from a shoot with a wonderful family which I wanted to do this amazing shoot and have it go perfect, I feel like it didn't. So much so that I haven't looked at the pictures because I felt like I could have done better and before that I was at work where I came into my department after having a few days off and it didn't look the way I wanted it too. So I felt like I failed there too. plus before and after work I spent less then a hour with my child and the husband because I went straight to work and then straight to my shoot. So I felt like I failed them.
It was a day that didn't go the way I wanted it too and lately I have had a few of those. It will pass. I know, but at that moment I need to yell it, scream it and write it down so I could move on.
right now, I am slowly moving on.
So again, thanks for your understanding and support it means a lot.

4 comments:

  1. I admire you SO MUCH! Being a mama is the hardest best job on earth. Then when you add all the other things you have on your to do list, it's impossible to do them all perfectly. I feel bad, because I am one of those SAH mommy's, & I there's never enough hours in my day. You have A LOT on your plate, &  it seems to me you rock it, & that you truly care about your responsabilities. You have a wonderfully happy little dude, & I'm sure he thinks his mommy is perfect & bees knees! Sorry for the novel, I know we don't know eachother well, but I just wanted to let you know I think your an AWESOME mama, & I want to take photos like you when I grow up. ~The End~

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  2. I feel ya!  Definitely have those moments.  Sometimes life just stinks.  It was just one day, though and you can only do what you can do.  I absolutely love your photography and I'm almost positive that the pictures you took were more than stellar!!! :0)

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  3. Chin up it will all work out even though it may seem like it won't. Check out my last post just might put a smile on your face.
    http://grtbluheron.blogspot.com/2011/08/laughter-is-medicine-for-soul.html
    Like Becky said I'm sure your pics turned out great........:)

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  4. We all have days like that and I'm sure that the photos will turn out fantastic and your client will just love them all. Take care.

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