It is amazing to me that I have this wonderful support from all of you. This is the reason I blog because complete strangers will reach out and try to make someone feel better about them selves and I appreciate that. I appreciate all your comments and emails and I will write you all back soon. For now, know that I feel better and the majority of my feelings come from the high expectations I put on my self and others around me and that is something I am trying to work on.
Because I know I cant be perfect at everything and that everyone else cant either but I do yearn for it to be that way and I get jealous at others success when I feel like that could be me and it makes me feel like I fail because its not.
I want to be the amazing mother, the top notch employee with the amazing sale numbers, the adoring wife and the sought after photographer. But as most of you said I cant be all of those things 100% of the time. Its just hard to not wish I could.
The night I wrote that post I just came home from a shoot with a wonderful family which I wanted to do this amazing shoot and have it go perfect, I feel like it didn't. So much so that I haven't looked at the pictures because I felt like I could have done better and before that I was at work where I came into my department after having a few days off and it didn't look the way I wanted it too. So I felt like I failed there too. plus before and after work I spent less then a hour with my child and the husband because I went straight to work and then straight to my shoot. So I felt like I failed them.
It was a day that didn't go the way I wanted it too and lately I have had a few of those. It will pass. I know, but at that moment I need to yell it, scream it and write it down so I could move on.
right now, I am slowly moving on.
So again, thanks for your understanding and support it means a lot.Tweet