Saturday, March 13, 2010

Being angry for one minute can take away 60 seconds of your happiness.

You walk in after work with this angry presents that I can just tell is going to make us fight or at least make me not want to be next to you for the rest of the night.

Didn’t you know that I was happy today? Truly happy and you walking in here with nothing but disapproval of how the house looks or that I didn't put the game on. That just makes me nothing but upset.

“You ruin all my happiness.” yes, I said it and yes I meant it.

You know how hard it is to find a happy picture of you or to even take one? Why do we always have to fight over one stupid thing?


Why is it hard to be H A P P Y?

Just carefree relaxed happy.

Please… just…LET G O of the S T R E S S!

I just want to be blissfully happy. PURE oh that word just makes me long for it even more.

I don't want to have anymore of these moments of unpleasantness.

I want to be wrapped in your arms with knowing it’s because we are happy not because I am trying to “calm” you down.

I don't even remember the last time I truly heard you laugh or at least a real hold you bully almost pee your pants laugh. Come to think of it in the past 5 years we have been together I don't think I have ever once heard you do that.

You’re taking a piece of me each time you just… can’t… LET… IT… GO…

I wish, oh I wish for you to truly to find that happiness or at least something more than anger and disapproval.

I have been depressed before maybe not the manic kind with more than a little anxiety with a dash of OCD added in for good measure. But I have been unhappy for no apparent reason and I gotten over it and how I did it? Was to just to not take EVERYTHING so personal. I just can’t understand how being negative all the time helps anything. It takes down the moral of the whole house in an inset with out any regard to the long day of happy moments that Wyatt and I shared.

Don’t you want to come home and just BE?

Be with us regardless if the house is a mess or if your game isn’t on or if WHATEVER.

When the house is a mess? That just means that I have spent the day playing and goofing around and LOVING your son and to me that is my number one priority.


  1. Tough stuff, hope it gets better, esp. for your happy son's sake!

  2. I know that it is always something that we are going to have to deal with because half of the stuff is not codys fault its the disorders fault. it just hard to deal with it sometimes and its nice to get it off my chest. dont get me wrong cody is a wonderful dad and loves his son it just that he doesnt think how it effects others.


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