Wyatt sleeps with the bathroom light on and most nights he ends up in our bed. There are days that I love that he sleeps cuddled next to me with his soft breath in my ear but there are other days that I wish I had the moments with my husband. Tonight was one of them.
After work Cody and I went shopping around for his electronic crap and we ended up at bed bath and beyond. There I found a soft turtle that was also a night light. I thought, WOW this could work. This could make Wyatt sleep in his bed.
This turtle in my head was the end all, the most amazing thing, the thing that will turn everything around THIS WILL BE IT.
As I put Wyatt to bed I showed him how cool “Turtle Wyatt” was. (that's what Wyatt named him.) He changed colors and put stars on the ceiling and oh he was sooooo soft. We laughed, made stories up about this turtle and I then tucked him in and did the normal “I love your butt” (I say) “ I love your poo poo face.” (he’ll say) we both laugh and I leave, leaving the bathroom light on. Tonight I turned off the light.
I come out to the living room where Cody is watching the Tour De France (a bike race) and I sit on the computer editing away (or wasting time on Facebook.) after an hour or so I got up and went to the bathroom, only to run smack into Wyatt sleeping on the floor. After the shock wore off I quickly pick Wyatt up off the floor and place him back into his bed which of course he was not happy about.
After tears and TEARS I somehow got him to calm down. We talked. I told him about the amazing day we will have tomorrow if he will be brave and sleep today. We made plans to have a camera FREE breakfast picnic in a park tomorrow morning. He began to fall asleep I quietly leave which wakes him up.
The tears came again and again. AND AGAIN.
I lost it.
I did my most mean mom voice and said “WYATT YOU MUST BE BRAVE!!!!!!! BRAVE! Brave to sleep in your room with out the light on BRAVE to be in YOUR BED all night! BRAAVVVVVVVVE!! OKAY??!?!?!”
He just cried harder. Which made me stop.
I knelt beside him and calmly this time said “Wyatt its okay to cry, its okay to be scared, its okay to want to be with me at night or anytime. but YOU must learn to be brave. brave, do you understand?” He shakes his head yes. and I said “Tell me Wyatt that your brave, Say mommy, I am brave.”
I then grab him, hugged him, loooved him. and whispered “Brave, you are Brave. Big boys are brave, brave to go on rides at amusement parks like you did a few weeks ago. Brave to let mommy go to work. Brave to hold sparklers even when they give you owies. brave to run up really tall hills, brave to go to Disney land.” “Wyatt you are brave.”
“mommy.” he says “I am brave.” “Yes. yes, you are honey face.”
We said our I love you’ s and I walked out of his room leaving the bathroom light on knowing that I was wrong. Wrong to make him jump into being “on his own” at night. Wrong to yell. Wrong to loose my cool.
but I also walked out also knowing that I just taught him to be brave.