Made from scratch.

There's a part of me that wishes I was more like my mom. More attentive, less overwhelmed, better at doing the dishes every night, cooking the home cook meals where vegetables were actually cooked and eaten and oh how I wish I could whip up all of the traditional holiday treats I’ve been craving.

But instead I’m one of those modern mothers who wastes a lot of time on the computer, blogs, DVRS every show imaginable and works 40+ hours at her job plus have a photog biz on the side and some how squeezes in time with the kid and the husband then by the time I am done with all that I am too tired to clean, cook or even move.

I know that it might seem like I have it all together that I am attentive to Wyatt or that we do all these fab things (because seriously I am super fabulous!) but really my every day goes like this…

Wake up at 7am after staying awake playing on the computer, editing, blogging or watching TV until 3 or 4 am. Get “ready” for the day which is finding what seems clean on the floor, sorta brushing my teeth, maybe brush my hair. Some days I try to put make up on. I might have showered the day before but I highly doubt it. I don't even shaved my legs or my arm pits unless we go somewhere special.

I take Cody to work by 8am, drop Wyatt off at one of the grandma’s, get to work late. (9am-ish) push paperwork around, deal with all the drama that comes with an being Human Resource manager, (which is non stop) maybe get a lunch, go to meetings that are always the same.

Hopefully get off work on time (which is never.) go pick up Wyatt from the grandma’s, pick Cody up from work get home by 7pm, convince Cody that we need to order something in because I haven't done the dishes in days or I am to lazy to cook or we haven't been grocery shopping since last month so all we have at home is frozen pre-package pancakes that Wyatt loves.

Cody and I play with Wyatt for an hour then put him to bed. Some days I will have a photo shoot in-between picking Wyatt up or jam pack them on my days off. So when I do have a day off I have to clean the house, do the dishes, laundry etc. go photo shoots, edit them, run errands, grocery shop, plus spend time with Wyatt. ugh…

Be regardless of all that I know I am a good mother. I know that when I do have a minute I spend it the best way I can with Wyatt. I know that when he is old he will think back to his times he did have with me and know that I did all that I could. Do I wish I could be a stay at home mom? Yes, oh yes I do. Will I ever be one. No.

But today that doesn't matter you know why?

Because we made home made cookies completely from scratch and it was the best hour of my life.

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