um, yeah I cant sleep.

Its 3 am and I should be sleeping. In fact I was sleeping until the husband woke me like he did when we were teenagers. It was wonderful but he fell back asleep and I ended up staying awake. Grr.

I have been off the grid a little with this whole blogging world not because I didn't want to post a thousand times but because I have been a busy little momma.

Here are some things that has happened in the last 4 days:

1. The kid broke my iPhone, which led to a trip to the apple store in SLC. Which led to visiting the new mall they just built. Which was amazing! but also led to a fix phone only $30 later.
2. I purchased a new iPhone case called Life proof and I can not wait to take it underwater this summer!
3. I busted my toe into a tree stump which tore off the tip of my pinkie toe. It hurts and I feel like an idiot.
4. We are getting closer to moving into our new house. Sheetrock is up, we picked out our kitchen cabinets, carpet, and kitchen floor. We also picked out our kitchen appliances. Eeee!! (all being purchased by our aunt and uncle cause they are amazing. seriously, we couldn't do all this with out them.)
5. Tomorrow, We are going to finalize what paint colors we want for where. Purchase samples and likely try them out.
6. I have been getting things together for our summer vacation that's happening at the end of June. We are going to be camping for a week in Zion's National Park. Lots of hiking and lots of sun. (Ps. Cody will not be going on due to he hates camping. So I will be going with my mom, dad, one of the sisters and my niece.)
7. I miss Kipper the dog. He has been staying at my in laws for the last couple days. Just because we are worried that our landlords will be coming around due to the fact that it is the beginning of the month. And we can not be kicked out right now.
8. The main reason I have not blogged for the past 4 days is because well, I have been addicted to watching Weeds on Netflix. Seriously, love it.

Okay… I am now off to bed to try to get back to sleep.  Goodnight.

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Currently. I. Can.Not. Fall. Asleep.

My mind is racing a thousand times a minute while I laid looking up to the ceiling in my nice warm bed with the husband sound asleep besides me and I just cant fall asleep. No matter how hard I wished it, it won't come.

So I get up and try to write as the blank computer screen just stares at me whispering you should be in bed right now. I’m stressed, sick of the winter, wished on lived on a nice warm beach somewhere and hate that my apartment smells of dirty dishes while the Wal-Mart bags from our last random trip still lay on the floor with the stuff yet to be put away.

The thoughts I think come back to my job and the drama that goes a long with it. The thoughts then run through the creative juices I wished I had at this moment. I feel lost in my photography I wish that I would take those spontaneous photo adventures I did this time last year and captured the beauty I wished I saw this year.

I have cabin fever so bad that it is spilling into my mind with an overwhelming sense of depression that I hate that I cant shake it. God, I hate the cold. The dull sky, the brown grass and that stupid snow that wont go away. I hate it.

I want to be on a warm beach somewhere as my feet scrunch against the roughness of the hot sand and my face lifted high against the deep warmth of the sun. I want to hear the seagulls off in the distant as the waves crush against the beach. Oh how I picture it. Me, you and Wyatt building sandcastles together.

We close on a house this week but its not the one we really wanted. Its a fix me upper and we wont be able to get out of this god awful apartment until at least April which makes me sad. I want to paint our walls now in bright colors and hang large pictures. I want to run in our back yard chasing Wyatt as we laugh and fall into green grass. I want to finally get a dog that Wyatt could name something funny like Pupper. I want to build those memories now. Right now, with you. 

I hate this apartment. I hate the clutter. I hate that we don't have a working dishwasher. I hate that we have lived here too long. I hate that its still winter and I miss San Diego.

I have been in such a mood lately not only to you husband but to everyone. I am mad at the world for some unknown reason and I cant snap out of it. I blame the winter.

But today (since its 2 am) I am going to wash the dishes, clean the apartment, finally pay my school loan that's been over due forever and then I am taking the kid out on an adventure. Somewhere different, somewhere fun.

Somewhere to get me out of this cabin fever. I need an escape of the world, from reality. And today I hope I get it.

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